I am so afraid of making a wrong step. Can I make a wrong step? Can I actually do something outside of God’s plan? Why do I fear? Who am I that I fear? I am not my own provider or comforter. I just do as I am called, seek God, desire him, listen to […]
Decades of research show unequivocally that men and women are equal in general intelligence (IQ), but that isn’t the case when it comes to emotional intelligence (EQ). There are subtle, and not so subtle, differences in men’s and women’s expression and understanding of emotions that must be explored and understood.
Gender is a common place for people to assign labels around emotion. Such generalizations have pegged women as everything from the “fairer sex” to overly emotional, and men from emotionally aloof to explosive. You’ll find that none of these platitudes are true.
There’s an enormous amount of research suggesting that emotional intelligence (EQ) is critical to men’s and women’s performance at work. Emotional intelligence is responsible for 58% of performance in all types of jobs, and 90% of top performers are high in EQ.
“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” -Timothy Leary
TalentSmart has tested the emotional intelligence of more than a million people and it’s clear that women have the upper hand. While women’s overall EQ score is just a couple of points higher than men’s, this is a statistically significant difference that shows that women have greater skill in using emotions to their benefit.
It just doesn’t answer the pressing question: why?
To understand why women outscore men, we have to look at scores for each of the four emotional intelligence skills by gender. There’s a reliable pattern in the data that points to some interesting explanations for the gap.
Self-awareness is how well you understand your own emotions in the moment, as well as how well you understand your tendencies—the people and situations you handle well and those that push your buttons. This is the one place where men and women have perfectly equal scores. It’s also a place where men have been given a bad rap. People often assume that men aren’t tuned in to their emotions or don’t understand them. Clearly, that isn’t the case. Of course, men also have a tendency to hop on this bandwagon—by feigning to have no awareness or understanding of their emotions—in the hope of avoiding any accountability for their actions. Now we know better.
Self-management is what you do with your emotions once you’re aware of them. Since you can’t make emotions disappear, effective self-management requires channeling your emotions into producing the behavior that you want. This is the one area where men outscored women. I believe that the best explanation for gender differences in emotional intelligence is how we are socialized growing up (reinforced by societal gender pressures we experience as adults). In the case of self-management, men are often expected to be emotionally “strong” and in control of their emotions, which may explain why they outscore women slightly.
Social awareness is how well you understand the emotions and experience of other people. This requires the ability to tune in to body language and other unspoken signals, since people don’t usually come out and say what’s going on with them. This is an area where women outscore men by a fairly large margin (statistically speaking). This is also a skill that women are socialized to practice and possess from childhood in ways that men aren’t. Right or wrong, women are expected to take care of other people (and are rewarded for doing so). This gives them an upper hand when it comes to social awareness. Men, to their detriment, aren’t rewarded for social awareness in the same way that women are, and this carries over into adulthood.
Relationship management is the pinnacle of emotional intelligence. It requires that you use self-awareness, self-management, and social awareness in concert to better your relationships as you interact with other people. You cannot hope to get the most out of your interactions with other people until you understand your emotions, cue in to their emotions, and use this knowledge to adjust your approach on the fly. Women have a slight edge in relationship management for reasons described in the social awareness section above.
Emotional intelligence presents a significant advantage for women in the workplace. Whether you’re a man or a woman, don’t just sit back hoping that you’re one of the high-EQ types. EQ is a flexible skill that you can improve with effort. To that end, here are a few things that you can do to improve your EQ today:
You should know that life won’t turn out exactly like you thought it would. The man you thought you couldn’t live without and would spend the rest of your life with, will shatter your heart, but you’ll live. In fact, he did you a favor by breaking up with you…even though it won’t feel like it at the moment. You’ll wonder how you’ll even sleep without him by your side, but you do. Food won’t even taste the same and you won’t feel like eating it, but you do. This will be one of many defining moments in your life because who you were going into this relationship and who you are coming out of it are almost two different people! You’ll find yourself open to different experiences which will expand your perspectives. The earth will rotate, the sun will rise and set, and you will heal.
You’ll figure out that old saying of people come in to your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime is so true. You’ll struggle with it because you want everyone to stay forever but not everyone can or should. Your best friend, your soul sister who you talk to every day, the time will come when you go for months without talking. I know that’s hard to fathom because she’s the other side of your heartbeat. She’s hilarious and fun and everything you’d want in a sister if you had one. But your paths will not be the same and before you realize it you all have very little in common. You will struggle with this for years and still do. As a matter of fact, the 12 year old in me still listens for her heartbeat whenever we talk because I know it’s there. The earth will rotate, the sun will rise and set, and you will move on.
Daddy will get sick and need an operation and you’ll watch him tell you he loves you as he thinks he’s taking his last breath, but he doesn’t. He lives and for a while you will watch him like a hawk, because you’re scared, but he’ll be okay. You’ll take for granted that mommy is fine and doesn’t need you to watch over her as closely, but she does. But at the moment, you hover and pray and fret until he’s recovered. After all, you’re a daddy’s girl to the core. The earth will rotate, the sun will rise and set, and you will move on.
You and mommy will become closer than ever. Even if right now you all are barely speaking she will teach you what it means to be a strong, independent woman. You all will become best friends and you will understand how she came to be the woman she was in spite of all the odds. And then before you know it, she’ll be gone. And it will break you and shake the very foundation upon which you stand. How could it not? Her and daddy built your foundation. You’ll cry and wonder if you’ll forget the sound of her voice, but you won’t. You’ll cry and wonder if there was anything left unsaid. And while there were plenty of “I love you’s” shared, you’ll be grateful that that was the last thing you said before she left. You’ll have a lot of questions about why she had to leave and you’ll wish for one more “I love you” and the chance to hear her laugh, but you’ll find the strength to go on. Eventually you take great comfort in the fact that there were no issues left unresolved between the two of you. The earth will rotate, the sun will rise and set, and you will heal and smile again.
You’ll grow to understand that life cannot and will not be controlled. All you can control is your attitude and outlook. You will lose bits of yourself but find them in the compassion, kindness and patience of friends and family. You’ll learn that you don’t know everything and that’s okay. You’ll learn how to be comfortable with your own vulnerability. You’ll learn that God really is with you through the tears and laughter. You’ll become thankful for the simple things like waking up each morning and being able to put your feet on the ground. You’ll learn that your past mistakes do not define you, nor do your fears control you. You’ll appreciate that we all have battle scars and learn to find the beauty in them. And the earth will rotate, the sun will rise and set…
Customer journey analysis – Take Care of Yourself Before You Take Care of Your Customer
One of the most important questions people ask when they are focused on improving their quantity and quality of business is: “What is my competitive advantage? What makes me unique, memorable, special… what truly sets me apart from the rest?”
While there are no definitively right answers to that question, most people come to some conclusion that customer service is a critical component of your competitive advantage. For most businesses, the service they offer can vary from exceptional to not so hot, depending upon circumstances.
Why is that? Why does the same company, and even the same people within that company provide world class service some of the time, and marginal service (or worse) other times?
That answer can be found in asking a different question: “What makes you (or your staff) happy when serving your customers?” While these answers also vary, most people come up with some sort of variation of “I am happy when my customer is happy.”
Do we enjoy dealing with agitated or disgruntled people? Normally not. We derive our joy from delivering value, by making others feel good about their experience, and by exceeding people’s expectations.
What comes first then? The happy customer or the happy person serving the customer? This is not the chicken or the egg quandary. The happy person serving the customer NEEDS to come first, because it is a very unusual day when your customer comes into your business looking to cheer YOU up.
This all seems very obvious. At the same time that many people realize this truth, it is rare that people consciously take steps to make sure that their greatest customer service assets are being serviced too – whether that person in on your staff, in another department, or if that person is YOU. It is critical that you continually improve the emotional, physical and mental support you are supplying to the people serving your customers.
How committed are you to taking the same care of YOUR needs? Your task for the month is to identify and act upon a couple of ways to keep you in proper shape so you can take care of your always important customers.
As i know and understand that Two things define your personality:
The way you manage things when you have nothing
And the way you behave when you have everything. Those things are enough to define who you really are….
My lifetime has been full of sorrows since childhood.This is because my parents died at an early stage, when i was very tiny. only to to be taken care off at the orphanage. However, i felt very despised by some of my classmates at the school, whenever they talked about their parents each and every time,which made me to shy away and move far away from such story telling. just because i would remember the pre-existed parents who had decayed before i knew how to write and read.
my two younger siblings also died and now just left alone as the only guy who owns the family`s name. sometime i ask God a lot of question why this happen but no answer to be heard anywhere. The remaining relatives are also snooty and has grabbed all of my family properties. This makes me to think of going back to the street to stay with my fellow orphans in Kenya.The orphanage only supported me up to form four level which made me to attain grade C (plain) at the national exams. I cant continue with my studies due to lack of fees and support from my relatives. This has made me to lose hope in life as others do have.
Nor words nor statistics can adequately capture the human tragedy of children grieving for the dying or dead parents, stigmatized by society through association with HIV/AIDS plunged into economic crisis and insecurity by their parent`s death and struggling services or support systems in impoverished communities.In my life, i would like to be a Medical Laboratory Technologist which also fully depend on the financial adequacy to take the course. i have always thought of getting someone who would volunteer in supporting me financially interns of education to achieve what i had planned to be in my life.
I believe that i will get assistance from anybody, not related but through the grace of the lord, if anyone is interested in supporting my education can inform me through an email, firstname.lastname@example.org.